The Joke
by x Lost Hero x
Summary: Dharma-era. Miles and Juliet are dating, but it is a one-sided relationship so Miles is going to break up with Juliet. Before he does, he is going to have fun messing with James' head. Suliet in the end. OneShot.


**Author's Note: Okay, so I started to write a Dharma-era fic but it was awful so I just trashed it. And now I'm attempting another Dharma-era Suliet fic. Basically, Miles starts dating Juliet but it's mostly a one-sided relationship and he gives up. But before Miles breaks it off with Juliet, he decides to play with LaFleur's mind. Just a little romance humor Suliet, one-sided Miles/Juliet fic. I needed some humor. Oh, and this is my 60th fanfic! Yay! Read and review. Enjoy!

* * *

**Miles knew that James liked her. It was so damn obvious. Every time he was confronted about it though, LaFleur denied that he had a little crush on Juliet. And hell, as the days in Dharmaville went on, Miles began to like Juliet too. How could he not like Juliet? She was a beautiful, strong, independent woman that knew what she wanted. Miles vowed to himself that if James didn't make a move within the next month, he would.

A month had quickly passed and James still hadn't made his move on Juliet. So, Miles decided to put his plan into action. He was going to ask Juliet out on a date and then he was praying that they would continue to go on dates.

Luckily for him, Juliet said yes. Miles and Juliet went on four dates around the island before Juliet moved in with him. It had been two months since the initial first date and during their day off, miles was helping his new girlfriend pack her things and move them over to his house. As Miles was moving the boxes just across the yard, he spotted James and Jin watching him. Jin was smiling while James was just glaring at Miles.

Miles knew that Jin was happy and James was obviously pissed off at him. Miles knew how much James liked Juliet even though he never admitted it. Miles knew that James probably loved Juliet by now, but he would never admit it now since Juliet liked Miles. James would just pout until something happened and he could claim Juliet as his own.

Over the next three months, things seemed to be going great for Miles and Juliet. They spent all of their free time after work together and they regularly hosted dinner parties with James, Jin, Horace, and Amy. After Horace and Amy left the dinner parties every week, the four close friends would have discussions on everyone who managed to get off the island. Miles knew that the conversation was hard for all three of his friends, but sometimes the conversations would be memories of the island before he got on it. Daniel was brought up in most of the conversations when they discussed the people that left the island and what they were up to, and they wondered what he was doing.

But soon after three months, Miles noticed a difference in Juliet. She didn't seem to like spending time with him as she had before. She spent more time at the motor pool by taking in more shifts and letting people have the day off. Miles realized that she was taking everyone's shifts and he knew it was to avoid him. He was deeply saddened by the fact; it was then also then he realized that their relationship was one-sided now: his side.

Miles knew that Juliet didn't seem to like him anymore, and that she had probably moved on from her little crush on him. The only thing Miles didn't understand was why she stayed with him if she didn't like him in that way anymore. He guessed that he would have to just break up with her himself.

But, before Miles was going to break up with Juliet, he decided to have a little bit of fun. One day after work he went over to Jin's house and rang the doorbell. He heard footsteps inside and soon Jin opened the door.

"Miles. Hello," he said, his accent thick. Jin was still trying his hardest to learn English and he was beginning to pick it up a lot faster now.

"Jin, hey. Can I come in?" Miles asked, pointing inside of Jin's house. He was glad that Jin was beginning to learn English faster because he really didn't like having to use hand signals when he talked.

Jin nodded and opened the door wider before saying, "Yes. Come in…my house." The Jin started to walk towards his couch.

"Good job, Jin. You are getting better with you English," Miles complimented, walking into the house and shutting the white door behind him. Then he walked over to an armchair across from the couch and sat down. "You know how Juliet is my girlfriend?" Miles started looking at Jin.

He nodded. "Yes. Juliet is…your girlfriend. Like Sun is my…wife," Jin said, stumbling over his words a little.

"Yeah. That's right. Sun is your wife and Juliet is my girlfriend. They are similar. Anyways, I'm going to break up with Juliet," Miles said, praising Jin for his English.

"Break up?" Jin asked, looking at Miles thoroughly confused. "What is…break up?" he said.

"We won't be together anymore. But, before I break up with her, I want to joke around with Sawyer. Get him pissed off at me. It's going to be funny," Miles said.

Jin nodded, understanding the term _break up._ "I see. But what are you going to do to make Sawyer mad?" he said.

"I'm going to tell him things about Juliet. Since he loves her, he will get mad at me because I have done things with her that he hasn't done."

"Have you…done things with her though?" Jin asked, starting to like the plan. He loved watching Sawyer get mad because it was funny.

"No, I haven't. That's the beauty of this plan. I'll be lying because I haven't done things with her, but he won't know that I am lying," Miles said, chuckling to himself. "So, Jin. Don't tell Jim that I am lying, okay?" he added.

Jin laughed along with Miles. He liked the plan a lot. "I will not tell James anything," he said.

* * *

The next day after work, both Miles and Jin went to LaFleur's house. James had invited them over for some beer and Miles was going to tell LaFleur everything. Every little white lie that he had thought of, he was going to tell James.

"Hey," James said nodding and letting them inside his house. The three men walked into the living room where there were three beers sitting on the table already. "Sit down," James said, sitting in the armchair.

Both Miles and Jin sat down and grabbed their beers. Miles took a long drink of his beer, just waiting for James to ask about Juliet. He knew that LaFleur would; LaFleur couldn't help but to ask about the woman he loved.

"So, how's Blondie, Bruce?" James asked, taking a long swig of his beer. Ever since Juliet and Miles had gotten together, James had a pit of jealousy sitting in his stomach. He hated that Miles got to Juliet before he did.

"Oh, she's really good if you know what I mean," Miles said with a wink. He smirked at James and then thought in his mind, _He's gonna go off here…_

James choked on his beer and then glared at Miles. "You little bastard," he murmured, glaring at Miles. James knew exactly what Miles meant and he pissed off that the little bastard would even tell him that.

Miles was still smirking when he added, "And apparently I'm really good too." Miles was trying his hardest not to laugh, which was proving to be a difficult task; he was not a great actor or liar.

James put down his beer and said through clenched teeth, "I swear to fucking God, Bruce Lee. You say one more thing about Blondie like that and I will rip your damn head off."

Miles stopped smirking and seriously said, "She is always begging for more after we finish making love. I guess I am just the king."

With that comment James quickly got up and strode over to Miles. He grabbed him by the neck and said, "You little bastard," before punching Miles square in the jaw.

Miles closed his eyes and gasped in pain. He knew that LaFleur was going to punch him, but he didn't think that he would punch him hard. "See? You do love her, Jim. Look at how you are defending her," he said. "I was only joking about me sleeping with her. We haven't slept together. Hell, I'm going to break up with her because she loves you; not me," Miles quickly added.

James let go of him and then his face softened. "What the hell? So you saying you were only messing with my head? You asshole," he said, punching Miles once more. Then LaFleur walked back to the armchair and sat down.

James didn't know what to think. He was exposed. They knew that he loved Juliet. Miles said that he was breaking up with her because she loved him. He knew he was happy since Juliet loved him, but he didn't know whether to be pissed at Miles for lying to him and screwing with his head or to be happy since he knew that Juliet loved him. LaFleur just decided to smile at Miles and say, "Thank you." James truly was speechless.

* * *

A few days later, Juliet showed up at James' house. She rang the doorbell a few times, moving back and forth on her feet. She couldn't stand still; it was impossible. Finally though, James answered the door. Juliet didn't say anything. She just hugged him tightly before standing on her tiptoes and kissing him passionately on the lips.

James hugged her back just as tightly and while they kissed, he picked her up and carried her into the house, kicking the door shut. Nothing needed to be said between the two adults; they both knew that they loved each other and that was all they needed to know.

And even though Miles had been lying to James when he said that Juliet was good in bed, that was the damn truth. After making love, Juliet snuggled close to James, resting her head on his chest.

"I love you," she whispered softly in his ear. Juliet nuzzled James' neck and slowly closed her electric blue eyes.

"I love you back," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. James was happy that Miles had broken up with Juliet. Now they could finally be together forever.


End file.
